The SMS!!

This whole story about M's mom neglecting Danielle is really getting to me. I am a very straight forward person that always let you know what I think. So on Sunday after I left M's sisters house I was thinking how could I let her know how I feel. So I though I would send her an SMS which sed:

I just want to say thanks for everything you do for me and Danielle and we do appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts. Even though we don't get to spent that much time together anymore.

I felt so much better after I have send it. So last week we were all invited to Dine with M's grandfather for his 85th birthday. At first I did not wanted to go. We dropped Danielle off at my aunt (she lives just around the corner from me). The whole family was there. I kept my distance from M's mom I kissed her hello and that was it. I only spoke to her when she asked me a question. I felt bad doing that but the hurt I'm feeling kept popping up in my head.

So the Thursday night she phoned me I was so shocked. She said that we must do something tomorrow because she has neglected us the past few weeks. (My little inner person was shouting up and down "I finally got through to her without the REAL me doing it"). (I only work Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays). So I said "that's fine will see you around one. Just need to do some things". She said: "OK see you tomorrow:.

So my day started and I could not wait to finally spend some time with her. I really love her very much and the past year has been hell. I made all the attempts to keep in touch with her and made more efforts for her to spend time with Danielle then what she did.
So at 13:30 when I arrived at her house the past year just flashed right back to me. Yes M's sister was there to. I almost just left again. Its not that I am jealous on her its just that I want M's mom to spend time with Danielle alone. When she is there she keeps on giving her baby to M's mom then she cant play with Danielle.
We went to Reggies to change her pram due to crack in it. Went for coffee and that was it. Yes a total waste of my day. So I went home. I felt like screaming, crying, banging my head against the steering wheel. But I keep my calm infront of Danielle.

Yesterday was the last. I phoned M's mom to found out what she will be doing. (We had a public holiday in SA). So she said she will come visit around one. She did not sound to good. Like I said she suffers from acid reflux. So most of the times the acid pushes up through the night and then the next morning she is so weak and sick. So I had to do some groceries (I dropped Danielle off by my Aunt) shopping for the house. When I got a phone call from her about 3 hours later my heart started jumping and my face got this big smile, but not for long. It was M's sister they just want to know when I will be home. She is coming with. My lip dropped to the floor (nearly tramped on it) and my heart fell right into my shoes.

So I said to myself NO don't be like this. So I got home unpacked. They arrived about an half and hour later. We had a smoke and fetched Danielle. Everything went well until they wanted to leave. Danielle wanted to go with her Granny. I don't know if it was my imagination or what. It just felt like she did not want Danielle to go with even M's mom she did not seem eager to take her. So I told her I will fetch her later. So Danielle got her bag and was so pleased to go with she even kissed and hugged me goodbye.

When we got the car M's mom was holding the baby and Danielle wanted to sit on grannies lap so M's sister said she new it would happen and saying to her mom that she still want to stop at Spar. So had to count to 10 otherwise I would of exploded and say something I might regret later. So I told her I will take her now. Grab Danielle who is screaming and yelling and told her to go. She still tried to say something but I just walked on trying to keep Danielle from kicking and smacking me in the face. She was crying her eyes out so I had to get into the car and drive with her. I drove to my aunt. She was not home so Danielle was crying ones more cause we left her "other grans" house without saying hello. So at the four way stop we met again M's sister and mom came back from the Spar they weren't even 5 min in the store. I just waved and road off.

We ended up in the park. We just stopped at home when my cell phone rang it was her I did not pick up. She phoned again, again I did not pick up. On the 3rd ring (my little voice inside me said Pick up and just listen what she has to say) So I did. She said that she just wants to apologies she did not mend for it to come out the way it did. (My inner voice: she's got a guilty conscious)So I just told her it sounded like she did not want her to go with cause she had an excuse everytime M's mom wanted to take Danielle with her. So I just said its fine.

So this morning I had to drop Danielle off with my Aunt due to her school being closed. I made another attempt with M's mom to spend some time with Danielle. I phoned her to let her know that Danielle is at my aunts house if she wants to pick her up. M's sisters just lives one street away from my aunt so its not out M's moms way. So today I will see if she made an attempt to see her. If not. That will be it. No more phone calls, no more visits from me. That is fair is it not. I made more then enough attempts.

A Grannies Love!!

My precious little Dannielle (photo of her where she was only 1 day old) was the first grand child on M's side. So she got a lot of attention and granny made lots of visits. She is not very healthy for the past 3 years. She is suffering from acid reflux she had many operations but still nothing helped her. Still that did not stop her of spending time with her grand daughter.

Her own daughter gave her lots of grieve during the years and she always said that I am the daughter she never had. They are not even fond of her husband that is as big as a whale and she is a tiny women. They came home one day to say that they are married they got married in court without nobody attending. Her parents were furious. She was addicted to Prozac at the time so we all wondered if she knew what she was doing. They tried to have a baby but due to his illness as a young boy he only has on testicle. They turned to insemination, that did not help either. So last year she fell pregnant naturally

Since she found out that she is expecting we were nothing (Danielle and I). I will phone M's mom no answer and no return call. Then later she and her mom will rock up at my house to visit Danielle. They went shopping together the whole day.
M's sister had her a baby about 2 weeks ago. I still try to make an effort to go visit M's mom but no luck no returned SMS or nothing. And when you drive past M's sister's house her car is standing there. Then I feel like shouting, I just feel that even if she visits there the whole day she can still just pop in to say hi to Danielle for 5min. We stay just around the corner of M's sister. I get told she is not well but then again she is fit enough to go visit her new grand daughter.

What can I do to let her know how I feel. Is she aware that she is neglecting her other grand child. I am not jealous I know that its her daughter, but I just cant understand that a granny loves one grand child more than another. I feel like crying, shouting etc. I just told myself that I will not make any efforts anymore. If she phones me to see Danielle I will make an excuse. I will make her feel like I am feeling know.

M's mom and I are very close (were) we did everything together. Shopping, walking the dogs, sharing secrets. She is a very dear old lady she wont even hurt a fly. We have never had an argument. We love each other dearly. But this past 10months is really getting to me.

Exploring the child still in me!!!

On Saturday my friend and I took Danielle and her four year old daughter to Kidz Galore its at the Board Walk (want to see more about the Boardwalk click here) down at the beach front. And did she have a ball. She thinks she is a little Jane (Tarzan & Jane) on all the equipment. Not scared to attempt anything. And mommy must just follow and climb on to everything with her to make sure that she does not get hurt.

She likes the slides the most so that means to get to the slides we have to go up with soft round steps (see photo on the right), then mommy must slide down with her (She is only 1 year and 8 months so she is still to small to all does dangerous moves on her own). My friend sat down to look after our shoes and bags and her four year old daughter went with me. The mommys proberly thought look at that mommy is she nuts or what because every time we went down the slide it was me, Megan in the middle and then Danielle on her lab. It was fun getting to the bottom and hear Danielle laugh out loud.
If you want to see more click here
On the jumping castle she jumps until she is at the end of the jumping castle and then she starts running, who ever is at the end,must just catch her. Not scared of anyting I say.

They have a section with a lot of balls. What does she do? she stands on the side and dives into the balls. I take her by her feet and slide her on the balls, her head just bounces up and down. She thinks that is real fun just laughing all the way.
They had real fun. So after all that excitement we took them to Mc Donalds.

National Cleavage Day

So ladies grab your Wonder bra's and short strappy tops we have to give the guys something to talk about (not that I have cleavage to show well not anymore). Lets stop traffic today. Not that they warn you before the time. I have got a long sleeve shirt with a collar on. (Yes Chitty - how vervelig - but its cold today)





Just something to thinks about??
Why do men always have to have all the glory. If you watch a movie with sex in do you ever see anything from the mans side, execpt bum why do we always just get bums. (Not that we really want to see anything else. But just the minority that makes me sick. There is books, sex clubs, strip clubs, porn movies. I think ladies why don't we start a big knob day (see whose got the biggest knob infront). I think that would be such a big joke day. Everybody will just look at the men's knobs.